be careful what you post online because future employers might see it and want to hang out with you because you’re so cool
if my kids end up being better looking than me theyre grounded
guys the disney fandom just took over a text post
imagine trying to take a shit while in the arena
like with cameras everywhere and the constant fear of being killed
and like what would happen if someone popped up and killed you mid poop
and you became know as the person who died mid poop during the hunger games
when you keep starting your sentence over and over again because no one is paying attention to you
*goes to england*
me: excuse me, what time is it?
brit: time wots that m8?
*big ben chimes*
everyone starts to count the bongs on their fingers*
brit: OI IT’S 7 BONG
if a small child talks to you and your instinct is to crouch down so you can be at their eye level, I like you about 60% more automatically